Missoula to Outside Darby

72 miles

758 feet climbing

Hello! I had a great day today, I did about 72 miles and 40 of it was actually on a bike path from Missoula almost to Darby.

I am at a bed and breakfast outside of Darby. I have another couple of big days, and three days to get into West Yellowstone. I’m treating myself a little bit tonight in this really sweet place.

You noticed in yesterday’s video that I was a bit emotional, and I don’t mind being emotional. I’m long past caring about crying, but I always like to know what’s behind the emotion, so I was thinking about it today.

When Kevin told me that he was going to stop, my first fear was being lonely and alone. I don’t know if I’ve ever told this story, but after college when I was about 19 or 20 I moved to Carmel, California. You would think that would be a beautiful place to go, and certainly it’s beautiful, but for a 19 or 20 year old, it’s a tough place to live. You know, lots of old people, tons of money. And so for a young, kind of introvert, it was hard.

That first year I suffered severe loneliness like I never had before. I realized as soon as Kevin told me that he was leaving, I immediately brought that past forward and feared that that’s what the rest of this ride was going to feel like.

So the navel gazing today was just how often we let our past inform or dictate our future. And the truth of the matter is, I was 19. I didn’t have any family. I had siblings and my parents, of course. But, you know, I didn’t have my wife and I didn’t have my kids. I didn’t have my community to lean on. Over the last two days, while I’ve been processing riding alone, I’ve really leaned on that community.

So I guess the reminder that I want to give you from my own experience of these last two days is, be careful about not letting your past experience inform your future experience. I’m really committed to just having the experience of being alone and maybe recreating that past and really trying to let go once and for all of that fear that I developed when I was living in Carmel, California.

I am loving the ride. I’m hoping you’re enjoying these posts. Today was great even though it was wet all day. I’m tired of riding in the rain, to be honest with you. It rained most of the day, and it’s getting to tomorrow too.

But I love life behind bars. Thanks for joining me.